And Now For Something Completely Different

I am not known to be a domestic goddess by any means. I clean on a regular basis, mainly because I don’t enjoy living in the kind of filth that New York tends to create. Though I don’t go overboard. I mean, why waste time cleaning when you can be laying in bed watching TV? But over the past year I’ve unearthed an interest in cooking thanks to my best friend and holistic health counselor. Previously, my most complex meal involved adding a microwaved bag of veggies in cheese sauce to some pasta. Include some pepper to the mix and I was almost going gourmet. Now, though, I’m getting in the kitchen like a good little woman and making some pretty tasty things. It’s helped me feel like a real grown-up as well as shed quite a few pounds, the only negative is the excessive amount of dish washing afterwards.

Last week I made something called sweet potato shepherds pie, a dish that many of my British friends laugh at because it in no way resembles traditional shepherds pie. The only things the two recipes have in common are carrots and onions, but I’m not worried about it because it’s pure awesome-ness. I’ve been thinking about how good it tastes since I finished it days ago, it’s the best meal I’ve made to date. Today, I’m going to make it again and thought I would capture it’s beauty for you all and share this fabulous fall recipe for you all to enjoy!

First order of business is to cook and mash the sweet potatoes

 

Then saute the onions and carrots

This process starts making the house smell amazing. It’s the perfect time to sip on a glass of wine while watching the rain outside the window.

This is the part that you add the beans and broth to simmer

After that is all finished, you add the bean and veggie mixture to a casserole dish and lay the sweet potatoes on top to bake in the oven.

All ready to go in the oven!

 

Finished product right before it went in my belly

 

See the recipe here: Sweet potato shepherds pie. I omitted the leeks and turnips for no real reason, I just didn’t feel like buying them.

So, there you go! If you end up making it let me know what you think.

 

*This short, and random, post is due in part to the fact that I’m currently working on a personal essay but didn’t want to go yet another month without being in touch with you guys. I hope to have the thing I’m working on be finished soon so I can maybe get back to normal.

-xo

When I’m 64

Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful daddies out there! I’m off to see my dad, as well as a whole crap load of my family, this afternoon. There will be beer at this shindig (thank goodness), so it should be fun!

Yesterday I called my dad to ask him what time he would get to the party, so I could plan accordingly. During our less than five-minute conversation he managed to get that dreaded job question in.

Me: I applied to a whole bunch of different stuff today, so fingers crossed!

It didn’t seem to appease him at all.

I know a lot of his concern is for my future. If I’m not able to contribute to social security now, what will happen when I’m at retirement age? What about savings? Bills? What will happen when he’s not around to lean on? Well, fear no longer dad! I have come up with a list of jobs that I could pursue in my golden years that will keep my twenty cats stupid in wet food and cat nip for years.

  • Cute old lady extra on a TV sitcom.
  • Elderly spokesperson for low-cost insurance.
  • Greeter at Walmart.
  • Test subject.
  • Reality show contestant based on seniors finding love. (My generation is destined to be the first to do this).
  • Playing a corpse for mortuary cosmetology students.
  • Wheel of Fortune contestant.
  • The crazy cat lady that ends up on all those Animal Planet shows.
  • Nursing home tour guide.
  • Corpse on a cop drama.
  • Tapioca pudding taste tester.
  • Door-to-door denture salesperson.
  • Teaching ‘origami for arthritis’ classes.
  • Coach of the musical wheelchair team at the community center.
  • Bingo caller or community bingo shark.
  • Geriatric call girl.

So… I’m totally thinking about my future. Happy Father’s Day, dad!

-xo

The Morning After

Well, thank goodness the world didn’t end yesterday. I had plans that I hadn’t intended on breaking just because a few people were being sucked into the sky. I’m pretty sure the people I had the plans with would still be around, but then what else would we talk about? The rapture is a pretty heavy topic, where do you find time to talk about the weather?

But I have a few questions now that we’re still here:

  • Where is this Harold Camping guy now that it was all a bust?
  • Why are so many people eager for the world to end?
  • What are all the dumbasses who quit their jobs going to do now?
  • Do people really believe they are going to be randomly picked up off the ground like they are a part of some life-sized crane game?

Oh no!

  • Are people actually disappointed it didn’t happen?
  • How will some crazy dude play with math so we can await the next proposed judgement day?
  • Why did it have to be at 6pm EST? There are other time zones to consider.
  • Is Kirk Cameron pissed that he was left behind?

How can the rapture be so cruel after all the PR work he's done for it?

-xo

A Letter to a Dog Owner

Dear dude whose dog was running loose in the middle of a busy intersection this afternoon,

I didn’t have to stop to chase after him in the rain to check his collar, but I was afraid he would get hurt. So a tinge of gratitude would have been nice when you ran up yelling at me that, ‘he’s mine!’ ‘He does this all the time!’ I tried to explain that I was worried for his safety but you just looked right through me.

Maybe you should invest in a leash since ‘he does this all the time.’ It would greatly reduce your need to talk to well-meaning people. I hope you get hit by a car before your dog does.

Signed,

An obvious idiot who still tries to do nice things.

-xo

No, No. It’s Not Alright.

A month before my high school graduation, the book store I worked at went out of business. I needed a new job, so a teacher I was close with suggested a small company that needed an office assistant. I ended up working in a place that I never imagined myself in, a towing company. There was rarely a shortage of interesting people entering the office. And it was always fun when I had to take money from an acquaintance so they could get their car out of the impound lot. I worked parking wars before the show Parking Wars!

They were really cool and became a second family to me. I only got jokey, evil looks when I showed up late or hung over, and they never cared if I did my homework during my down time. After I moved to New York for college, I would even go back there on my breaks to help out. All in all, I worked with them for eight years.

Everyday, we had the radio tuned in to one of those typical soft rock, office-friendly stations. Lots of Elton John and Billy Joel, which only drove me up the wall when we were painfully slow.

I’ll never forget one day, I came to after a morning full of paper work and thought to myself, ‘the radio just played this song.’ Some time passed and I thought to myself, ‘I didn’t realize this song was so long.’ Another small amount of time passed and I thought to myself, ‘didn’t they just play this song?’

Something was weird.

I asked the other woman in the office to pay attention to the radio, because at this point I thought I was going insane. She began to notice it too and we wondered if the people at the radio station realized what they were doing. I toyed with the idea of changing the station, but it was an old boombox and the only other station we could get without static was smooth jazz. (Snooze!)

By about hour three of being certain ‘Here Comes the Sun’ by The Beatles was stuck on loop, I was ready to throw myself in front of our flatbed truck. We turned the radio off and worked in silence the rest of the day. I’m still not sure which is worse.

The next day we found out that the radio station was changing hands from Star 104.5 to Sunny 104.5. (Get it?) They thought 24 hours of ‘Here Comes the Sun’ was a great way to promote the new format. It wasn’t. I avoided the station for years (that is, when I would actually listen to the radio).

Today, my mom and I took my nephew to lunch. He loves listening to music and dancing, so I turned on the radio. He’ll bop in his car seat to any tune, then sing if no one is watching. ‘Here Comes the Sun’ came on and I instantly thought back to that horrible day. Whenever I hear it, images of being stuck in that tiny, greasy office enter my brain similar to what I imagine Vietnam flashbacks are like. It was a very traumatic experience for me.

Luckily, it’s very rare that I catch a part of the song, but I would be happy to avoid it all together. Good thing I was never really a fan of it before all that nonsense went down.

-xo

Laziness Killed the Productivity Star

I’ve been suffering from a bit of writer’s block, and just as I thought I was hitting my stride. Maybe all my drinking killed those creative brain cells instead of the math ones I was planning on. I’m awful at math so it doesn’t matter anyway. My parents hate playing Yahtzee with me because I need a calculator. I almost didn’t start college on time because I failed the math placement test. I had to get a tutor for the summer so I could re-learn enough eighth grade algebra to appease admissions. I slept through most of middle and high school. But I digress.

I was at a party last night for the company I recently finished interning for. They have this amazing roof deck that just lends itself to classy, sophisticated, drunken partying. I certainly made the most of it. Who can say no to free booze? Now I’m supposed to be cleaning and packing (change of scenery tomorrow!) but instead I’m half staring at my computer screen and half at my television. I’ve been sucked into Billy and Mandy’s Big Boogey Adventure on Cartoon Network. I’ve seen it so many times but I can never not watch it, and what’s better than tuning into cartoons on a lazy Saturday? I’m such a kid, I keep having to remind myself I’m not 15 anymore. It’s so depressing. But I’ll get the packing done one way or another, I kind of have to. I’ll probably convince myself that I can get it all finished tomorrow morning and then curse at myself when I’m running around crazy. After all, I have lots of TV to watch before I leave so I’m not behind. Laziness is a drug and I’m totally hooked today. But what does it mean when you’re too lazy to actually chase the dragon?

Hopefully something awesome will happen that will get my creative juices flowing again. I’ll probably have to stand up for that to happen though. It’s not looking good.

Enjoy your weekend! Do something neato.

-xo

Hong Kong Nostalgia

Next month will mark two years since I moved back from Hong Kong. I was going through all the pictures today because I’ve been missing it and decided to share with you some (only some) of the fun/random/interesting sights I came across in my (almost) year over there.

Enjoy! I have so many more.

(Click on them to make them bigger)

-xo