Is A Return After A Long Absence Worth It?

Hey all!

It has been over 2 and a half years since I’ve even been on WordPress and I’ll admit it, it’s producing a little anxiety. What am I doing back here? They say you can never go home again, but is that my goal? So much has changed that there is no way this blog will follow the same trajectory as before. I’m a different person. I mean, an amazingly different person. But I feel like I have something to say again, something to share, a lot of things to make sense of, and I hope it’s something that interests past and new readers as I once did before.

This blog was aptly named ‘Tales of a 30-Year-Old Nothing’ at the time I created it and now I feel it could be more like ‘Tales of a 30-Something-Year-Old Something’. (Name change currently under debate in my head). When we last met I was mainly struggling through unemployment and the dreaded job search. I got a job, or 2, or 3 and switched to find struggles with nothingness, lack of motivation, uncertainty and instability, depression, this past winter on the east coast (you know what I’m talking about NE-ers), finding purpose, finding my place in life, an eventual move back to my hometown, making sense of the adult I was fighting against becoming and the adult I’m working so hard to be. It’s no pleasure cruise (but sign me up for one of those stat), and looking back knowing that there has been a 2 1/2 year gap between then and now makes me realize how little and how much growth there has been. These progressions aren’t happening over night and they have been met with resistance from my own psyche as well as other’s. The old adage 1 step forward, 2 steps back becomes a way of life and the best we can do is make sure that step forward is more of a stride. It’s the only way to get anywhere. Now don’t get me wrong, there have been many moments of contentment and happiness, times of pure elation, ecstasy, and joy that have shaped my journey. It all matters and plays a role. And really, I’m not a heavy person. Put on a cheesy 80s song (such as the one I’m listening to now) and I’ll dance to it like a lunatic. (Unfortunately, videos will not be provided).

I’m not looking back anymore. At least not to live. I will, however, take a handy-dandy time machine to certain points that I feel are important to address in hopes of achieving a deeper understanding and to share with those who are/have been stuck right along with me.

So I’ve heard starting at the very beginning is a very good place to start, and I feel it’s time to reintroduce myself to the WordPress community. I’m 33, I moved to Philadelphia within the past year after over a decade in Manhattan, and am reawakening a part of myself that has laid dormant for far too long. I’ve always loved writing but occasionally lose focus when life gets in the way. Just like working out, once you put it off a few days, months, years, what’s a few more? This time I’m committed, as I am in all aspects of my life. That is the difference. And I’m on the computer all day anyway (like the rest of us dry-eyed zombies) so what’s another hour? But why am I on the computer all day? I work in social media. It’s a glamorous life of home offices in bedrooms, neighborly door-slamming distractions, soap opera lunch breaks, and bun hairdos. My co-worker/housemate is a cat and I have a pair of Kurdish farming pants hanging on my bedroom wall to remind me of a trip to Turkey in my 20’s. My favorite color is pink and I like long walks on the beach… (wait, just kidding, that last bit is not at all true). Most importantly, I’m navigating through a series of mazes and obstacles on my way to living the life I want and know I deserve. We can do it with a little help, determination, time, and a very well-timed bet that a friend jokingly proposes but you take on with extreme gusto.

-xo

Thanks, But No Thanks

It’s been hot as balls on the East Coast lately, my little New York apartment has been a virtual broiler. Yes, I do have an air conditioner but it was probably made during the industrial revolution. It’s old, crusty, super dusty and it costs a fortune to run. I need a new one, but there’s that little problem called money… or I could beg my slumlord for one but that won’t happen anytime this summer. So I came up with a solution. Give my poor little fans, and my quickly growing electric bill, a break and head to my parent’s house for free air conditioning!

After I got home, sprawled out in some luxurious cool air, played with my nephew and got dinner with my mom (free food!), I sat down and got on my computer.

I got my first job application rejection email, three weeks after I applied.

“Thank you for your interest in (Company) – we always love to hear from our members! While you have some great experience, we have decided to move forward with other candidates.

Thanks again and we wish you the best!”

It actually came as a relief more than a disappointment because at least I heard something. After nearly three months of constantly applying to every kind of job that made sense, I finally heard a peep back. Who cares that it was a canned message, a negative response or a shot to the heart! They had the courtesy to not leave me hanging. I have since labeled this particular company as ‘classy’ and will continue to apply if other opportunities arise. At least I’ll be told they don’t want me.

I understand that jobs are few and far between and that companies are being bombarded with hundreds of applications daily (or weekly, I don’t know), but is it too much to ask for a simple copy-and-pasted email to bring us weary applicants some closure? Searching for a job is a very demoralizing process. Sending out a resume only to hear nothing back is equivalent to being left hanging when asking for a high-five. (Or that times a thousand, maybe). We appease you by writing some cheesy, self-loving, happy, ass-kissing cover letter (and sometimes answering tons of lame questions about how ‘awesome’ your company is) so why is it so hard to reciprocate just a little?

Who else is dealing with career woes? Share your pain here, it’s a safe place!

-xo

Basking in the Glow of Being Freshly Pressed

 

What a difference a day makes

Looks like my letter worked! And with the help of getting pressed pushing my letter into the forefront, spring had nowhere to hide. We did it people!

Color me surprised yesterday afternoon. I woke up in the morning to goosebump-covered arms and a foggy cityscape so I made a little plea for spring. I was just minding my own business, looking for jobs (ugh) when my inbox began to expand. After about an hour of trying to keep up I reminded myself that I actually had chores to do (yes, yes even us ‘pressed’ people have to clean) and had to tear myself away from my computer, even though it was just so tempting to stay and watch it all happen live. (I’m very easily distracted!)

I’m glad to hear that I’m in such good spring-awaiting company and thank you for completely distracting me from my job search (again, ugh)!

Now off to enjoy the beautiful weather with a little walk around the city accompanied by my good friends iPod and camera. Get off your butts and do it too! (If you have the opportunity).

High fives all around!

The heat is on.

-xo