I’m the spinster of the family. My brother and sister are both married with a child, and I haven’t had a successful relationship in a number of years. Don’t confuse this with complaining. I’m not looking to settle down and pop out a bunch of kids. I enjoy being single, probably more than I should, but at some point one has to wonder what’s wrong. I happen to think I’m an OK catch. I’m fun, relatively intelligent, creative, and attractive to at least some people (guys working behind deli counters seem have no problem telling me that). But the guys I’m interested in and I never really seem to jive. I’ve decided that from here on out, I’m going to conduct an exit interview with all of my potential suitors once I realize our first (and maybe last) encounter is coming to an end. This way there are no guessing games, agonizing staring contests with the phone or shoulda, woulda, couldas over the course of the next weeks. I look at it as a learning experience for both him and me. Here it is:
Lisa’s Date Exit Interview
If you are receiving this, it means I have enjoyed our time together. Please answer all questions thoughtfully and honestly.
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On a scale of 1 – 10 (1 being bad, 10 being spectacular) how would you rate your time spent this evening?
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On a scale of 1 – 10 (1 being dead, 10 being institutional) how would you rate my crazy level?
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Did I say anything to offend or terrify you? Please specify. (If you need more room, use other side).
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What was your favorite event of the evening?
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What was your least favorite event of the evening?
- Would you recommend me to your friends?
- If we had any physical intimacy, did you enjoy it enough to want to do it again?
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If you’d like to continue seeing me please leave your phone number here. (If you chose not to, you can kindly fuck off now).
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If you left your number, would you prefer to be a booty call or go on dates?
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If you answered booty call, please state days and times that you would prefer to be contacted.
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Please add any additional information here that hasn’t already been addressed.
Thank you for your time, both this evening and during the exit interview. I look forward to future meetings with you.
Keep the pen (it has my phone number on it), but please leave this form in the tray by the door.
Lisa
Totally reasonable, right? I think so.
-xo
SimonAndRoni 